What I'm Meant to Do
by AnonRecon
Summary: What you're meant to do is never black and white. Life will take you down paths not so easily walked, but you must trust that you'll get to where you need to go, for the smoothest path may not hold the treasure you've been seeking, and, sometimes, it's the journy that'll bring you the greatest treasures of them all: Memories
1. Chapter 1

[REQUEST]

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A bustling hub of orderly chaos... that was the Fair Island military base. New and old technology mixed beautifully and soldiers of every breed imaginable all collided into a mass of incredible men and women. He was humbled by it all, yet excited to be among them all. Not once in his life did he expect to get anywhere, let alone being recruited by one of the most impressive special-forces squads on that coast. Redd Jankowski was a normal sized blond, well built, and in shape. His eyes were a deep hickory brown. He was wearing standard military casuals; camouflage cargo pants tucked into black boots and an olive t-shirt. Around his neck he wore a set of dog tags and he carried on his shoulder a duffle bag of minor necessities. Down the halls of the Fair Island base, he made his way to the vehicle bays, as he was instructed in the e-mail, to meet his commanding officer, Cederick Griffin. Looking through what he could find, Redd saw that Griffin had an incredible military career. He was capable, respectable, smart, and known for making tough choices that others were scared to make.

It was promising. As he neared vehicle bay 112, the swelling in his stomach began to tighten, churning his guts in the most congested mass of nervousness he could have ever imagined. Then he was knocked to the floor, his right side rammed hard by some object from a closet in that direction. As he reoriented himself, Redd saw that it was a tire and couldn't even register what exactly happened before he was being pulled to his feet. "I am SO sorry," came a flustered voice that was obviously trying to hold back laughter. Jankowski shook his head again and focused his attention on a man standing before him. He was Hispanic, ebony hair with a matching goatee. He had a strong build and dark eyes, but they were charming. "You alright, man?" The words came slowly to Redd and took a few moments to process.

"Uhh... Yeah..."

"Again, I am SO sorry. I was trying to pull it down from the rack and dropped it. I knew I should've listened to Keegan when he said I'd need help. Those things weight, like, A LOT. Hey... I'm Sargent Morales, but everyone calls me Manny." He held out a hand for Redd to take so he did and shook it firmly, letting his hand limply drop back to his side.

"Redd. Redd Jankowski."

"Jankowski? You're new to Dark Signal?"

"Yeah... That your unit?"

"Yup. I take care of the APC."

"Well... Uhh... I think your tire's running loose."

Manny, as things had it, gave a chuckle and rubbed the back of his head. "That it is... I... I better go catch it. Go see Griffin. You can explain to him why you're late. I'll take the rap. See you later, man." he turned heel and ran in the direction that the object had rolled off in, passing a wave as he did so. Redd smiled after him and continued on to bay 112. When he found it, there was a huge, black, 8-wheeled personnel carrier minus one tire from an empty rim. A few people were walking about, moving things or loading others onto the vehicle. One of them was wearing a patch on his shirt that indicated that he was in command. From the pictures, Redd knew it was Griffin.

"First Sargent Griffin?" the blond inquired. The man looked up from the box he'd bee packing and stood up tall. He was much taller than Redd and defiantly stronger.

"That's me," he rumbled in a low voice. "Who are you?" Redd shifted through his bag before pulling out a slightly wrinkled sheet of white paper boring the team's symbol.

"I was told to see you. My name is Redd Jankowski."

"Jankowski... A few minutes late..." The voice didn't become kinder.

"Sargent Morales held me up; said he could answer for me."

"Held you up?"

"Kinda hit me with a tire, sir." There was a bark of a laugh from across the bay. It came from a tall brunet with a gentle-looking face and kind eyes. The humor in his expression was somewhat calming.

"I told that cocky nut he needed help," the man scoffed. From what Manny had stated earlier, Redd guessed that it was that 'Keegan' character.

"Just keep loading those supplies, Sargent. As for you," Griffin looked at the smaller man, a stern, stone expression on his face, "You will receive a full orientation in one hour. Then, you'll get into our schedule for the day. Tomorrow, you'll follow Sargent Morales' orders, do as he says, and he'll get you used to our training routine. We have a specific set of tasks for all new members to complete. If you mess up, you're out; if you don't do it perfectly, you're out. We don't strive for good. We strive for perfection. Am I clear?" Redd swallowed subtly.

"Yes, sir." A smile broke across Griffin's features as he reached out a hand.

"Then welcome to Dark Signal, soldier." Redd took the hand and shook it the same as he'd the other he'd been offered. "Any questions before we get started?"

"Yes, sir... Just one. Why me?"

"Why you?"

"Yes, sir. Why did you pick me? There were plenty of better men opting for this position. I'm not complaining, but if another man was more deserving..."

"Son, if we picked you, there were no better men. The true worth of a soldier comes from more than their service record. Maybe one day, you'll be able to tell me what that is and show me that I was right. So far, I haven't been wrong. Now, when Sargent Morales returns, you tell him that he is your mentor for the next few months and that he needs to take you to orientation. Is that, all?"

"Yes, sir. I will, sir."

"Good. Dismissed." Redd felt a weight lift from his chest as the man walked away and almost let out all the air he'd been holding in one loud huff. At least he didn't screw up. With a sigh, he waited by the APC, a hand on the strap of his dufflebag. It was still sweating, but the heat was subsiding. God, he almost passed out. He wished he wasn't so nervous around new people. He wouldn't get nervous around ANY stranger, even those smaller and weaker than him. When he got to know them, the fears stopped and he became himself, but the initial reaction was irritating. After some many more minutes, Sargent Morales finally showed up at the APC with the escaped tire and began to put it into the empty rim of the vehicle. Redd swallowed hard and approached him.

"Sargent Morales." The man looked up at him, brow raised. Something burning in the blond's being and he hoped it wasn't his face. "First Sargent Griffin told me that you'd be my mentor and that you needed to take me to orientation, sir." A smile spread across Manny's face.

"Stop with that 'Sargent Morales' and 'Sir' shit, alright? I told you, everyone calls me Manny. Second, I need to finish changing this tire and then we'll get to the boring stuff... Well... More boring than this. Orientation isn't really fun, so don't get your hopes up. The higher-ups of the base will blab to you and some other newbies about respect, honor, responsibility, all that stuff. They'll fill you in on the daily news around the base, the routines, the rules, time-charts, and then you'll be under my charge for a year. In that time, you are to do everything I say, exactly as I say it, without hesitation. Not gonna ask you if you got it. I don't speak french. I'm sure you understood." The entire time he spoke, Manny was changing the tire, tightening the rubber onto the rim and placing the heavy-armor caps over-top. He stood and wiped his brow which left a small, black smudge on his forehead. "Alright. Leave the bag here with Keegan. Let's go." Redd dropped the bag next to the brunet and followed Manny out of the bays and into the command halls.

The halls themselves were the standard military olive with white tile floors and the ocational item hanging on the wall- mostly bulletin boards. Manny took him to the far end of the first hall then down onto a second hall off of the first one where it split in two different directions. They went to the right and though a pair of double doors. Inside was a deeply contrasted conference room with a long, dark-wood table. Navy carpets covered the floors and the walls were a deep grey. Around the table as certain spots were metal folding chairs. Standing before most of them was another young man or woman, obviously new to the base like Redd. Manny walk him around to an open spot with two free chairs. Manny stood before one and Redd before the others. At the front of the room, there were three people, all dressed differently. One was Griffin, another was a woman with dark hair and quite a few years in her complexion. She wore a prim, navy suit. The last one was another man with spicy-tan skin, close to Manny's shade, and light grey-black hair. He was wearing a normal ACU.

"Are we all here, now?" The woman asked, looking to Griffin. He nodded to her and she turned back to the group, expressionless. "Welcome, all of you, to Fair Island Military Facility. You are all here because you are some of the most skilled soldiers this country has to offer and have been hand-chosen to protect this entire Sea-Board. As you may have already noticed, you are split into three groups and your leaders are before you. For those who do not know, I am General Kelsie Kreig, head of the technical intelligence division. To my right is First Sargent Cederick Girffin of Dark Signal's combat attachment, and to his right is Commander Ryan Locke of the Advanced Operations and gathering Division. First, I shall address my own recruits..." Redd stopped paying attention at that point. It wasn't meant for him to hear, so he didn't really bother. He turned his attention to Manny with a side-glance and watched as the Sargent feigned a yawn and rolled his neck comically. It almost made the blond want to chuckle. This continued for some few minutes until a different voice disturbed the monotone drawl.

"To my recruit, Redd Jankowski," Griffin began, "I understand that you are confused as to why you were chosen and I tried to elaborate when we met, but a moment's meeting serves the topic no justice. You aren't the first to ask me that question. In fact, every single member of Dark Signal has asked me that question and I couldn't give them an answer. The answer to that question is something you have to find on your own because it'll be different for everyone. Don't get me wrong. Your combat scores were impressive, but I think there is something you just haven't tapped into, yet. I want to see you find it and, maybe, just maybe, you'll find that you belong here. We've lost plenty of members because they discovered where they were meant to be and it wasn't with us. I hope you'll be one of the ones that stays, as I do with everyone, but if you find what you're meant to do, don't hesitate. Go for it. Yes, this squad is meant for the greater good of our country, but you could find that you do an even greater good elsewhere. Until that choice is made, though, you will train with us, fight with us, and be one of us. You are very lucky to have Sargent Morales as your mentor because I don't think anyone is better at bringing out the best in people than he is. His methods may be... odd, but trust him. He knows what he's doing. As for you, Manny," Manny looked up, smile wide on his features, "You work him until he passes out from exhaustion. You run him until his legs give out, you push him until he is on the very edge. I don't want to see any slack, you hear me?" The Hispanic nodded. Redd didn't very much like the sound of that last part, nor did he the grin Manny gave him in response.

Still, though... Redd hoped he belonged there... He'd never been able to do anything right... his entire life... Now, he found himself in a promising place and hoped with all his being that he wouldn't lose it, too. 'Please... be what I'm meant to do...". be what I'm meant to do..."


	2. Chapter 2

Four o'clock a.m... He was used to the early wake-up call. Griffin entered the bunks and turned on the light before calling attention in one of the loudest voices Redd had ever heard in a commanding officer. "Dark Signal at attention!" Each of the four members, including Redd, sprung from their bunks and stood stock tall, eyes not meeting those of the commanding officer. Griffin walked along the line of men and stopped in front of Sargent Morales. "Are you ready for today?" The Hispanic smiled broad.

"You don't have to ask me, Sir." Griffin's attention turned to Redd.

"Are YOU ready for today?"

Redd thought momentarily on his response... He didn't really know what Griffin was expecting. "Considering the circumstances, sir... Probably not." There was a conjoined scoff from around the room.

"That's the spirit. Squad to showers! Be done in twenty and meet on the track for assignments! Dismissed!" Everyone sprung for their foot lockers as soon as Griffin left the room. Redd followed suit and grabbed a fresh uniform, boots, socks, and a towel. He was last out of the room, but Manny waited for him in the hall. He motioned for the blond to follow and they walked together to the showers.

"So you don't think you're ready, huh? What makes you think that?"

"I don't know how you guys do things. How can I be ready for something I know nothing about?"

"That's the point. You're not suppose to be ready. Even if you think you are, you aren't and that's rule number one. Never assume. Always keep an open mind and don't let what you see or what you hear dictate your expectations." They made it to the showers and began to prepare to bathe. They had the usual military claustrophobia that was classified as a shower system. There was a ceiling-height wall surrounded by two low-baring walls on each side where there were sets of four shower heads. the smaller walls gave those bathing SOME privacy, but they were still bathing with a decent sized group of other men in a tight space. The military claimed it was to 'toughen-up' soldiers, but Redd knew that it was just a ploy to save money. Individual stalls were expensive, especially on a base of Fair Island's magnitude. As soon as Redd undressed, he stepped under an empty shower head farthest from the current user, a red-head named James Fox. The man reminded Redd of a biker, but Manny had mentioned something about the man having a pair of twin girls at home. Redd turned on the hot water and wasted no time in lathering his hair with shampoo and scrubbing his body thoroughly with soap. Not long after he started, Manny stepped in next to him and seemed to be making it a point to get out before the blond. Redd didn't understand it and finished up. He grabbed the towel he slung over the wall, dried off, and wrapped himself up. He got to his locker and finished drying himself before dressing in his fresh uniform. It was then that it hit him: He didn't know where the track was. Redd looked back to the shower stall. Fox and Keegan were finished and dressing at their lockers, but Manny was just rinsing the shampoo out of his hair. Now, he was going slow. What was his deal? Did he PLAN on making things difficult and awkward for him?

Redd stood by the Sargent's locker and waited for him to finish. Occasionally, he'd glance up to look at the other, finding him doing something or another. After about the fifth time, something caught the blond's eye. Manny had a tattoo... A HUGE tattoo across his back. It was vibrant and intricate, and a wonder how Redd hadn't noticed it before. From what he could tell, it was a stone cross wrapped in vines and poppy flowers. It was incredibly well done and he was almost tempted to ask about it when Manny finally finished, but there was another place for that. "I think we're gonna be late," Manny beamed, obviously smug about something. Redd scowled behind his back, crossing his arms and waiting. When the other was finally ready, he casually sauntered down the halls with Redd on his heels. They weaved between others who seemed in more of a rush then they, but Manny made it a point to keep the pace of a broken-down car being pushed by an emaciated dog. After a while, Redd could even visualize the scenario. Finally, they made it to a set of double doors and pushed into the yard. There were many different fenced in areas. The first they met was, thankfully, the track and they both fell in line next to the others. Griffin seemed just about to address them.

"Pushing it a little, aren't we?" he asked, letting the clip-board in his hands fall to his left side. Manny only smiled and shrugged, meriting a simple head-shake from Griffin. "Alright, now that we're all here, we'll get down to business. Keegan, what did you do wrong on our last opp.?" He obviously already knew the answer, but like a mother trying to teach a young child, he waited for Sargent Keegan to identify his own mistake, which he did respectfully.

"I... fell climbing a wall, sir."

"So, where do you need to go?"

"Course seven, sir."

"Get to it." Keegan broke from the line and jogged across the track to another sectioned-off area of the yard. Before he was even out of earshot, Griffin continued his address. "Fox, I want you at the range. You're shooting was good, but it could've been better. Get moving."

"Yes, Sir."

Griffin stopped in front of Manny and looked between him and Redd before lowering the clip-board. "Manny, take Redd to course one. Take him through to number fifteen. If he doesn't finish them all today, he starts over tomorrow. You're both dismissed." Manny nodded and motioned for Redd to follow as he made his way across the track to the closest enclosure.

"You aren't impressing me so far, Jankowski," Manny said in a warning tone. Redd cocked a brow. He had even done anything and he was already being scolded.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing and that's the problem. I was taking forever this morning and we were on a time restraint. You're lucky we weren't late or we'd both have to do suicides." Again, the confusion grew.

"I didn't think it was my place to say anything."

"Redd, a good soldier follows orders. A better one makes sure others follow them, too. That's what keeps us all on the same page. Better than that, we try to push each-other to make speed and efficiency a virtue." They stopped in front of a rather short obstacle course with the simple makings that the military often used: tires. ropes, barbed wire, a wall, hurdles. Manny crossed his arms and glared disapprovingly. "If you see one of your fellow soldiers lagging behind on the battlefield, what do you do?"

"Get them...?"

"Exactly. Now, get on the line and run the course when I say so." Redd sighed and jogged to the white line drawn on the short lip of concrete. "You heard Griffin. You don't get through all the courses today, you do them all again tomorrow. Move it!" At that, Redd took off down the course, starting with a row of tires lined up to the barbed wire. He passed through them easy enough, them being basic training objects from his base military tenure. After those, he dove under the barbed wire and slid through the dirt undernieth. He came up and jumped onto a rope net that spanned the side of a wooden platform which he scaled with ease. Once he was over, he hopped down onto a pile of sand-bags at the base, hurdled a smaller platform and stopped at on the raised section of gravel. "Good. Move on to the next one. To your left. Go! Go!" It didn't take Redd a second, he moved on to the next course which was much longer and included some water hazards. By the end of it, he was soaked, but ready to move on.

At seven o'clock he made it past the final course and was drenched in both water and rivers of sweat. ' _That has got to be the worst work-out I have even done_ ,' he thought to himseld, resting on his knees after he'd finished. Manny approached with another one of his worrying smiles and patted the blond on the shoulder. "That'a boy, Blondie. How are you feeling?"

"Terrible. That another one of your lessons?" Manny grinned broader and offered the other a hand to pull him to his feet.

"Yup, and one you didn't have to learn the hard way: Do it right the first time. You're starting to redeem yourself from this morning. Now, common. Let's get you a shower and something to eat. Tomorrow's gonna be an easy day since you finished this. You could only imagine how bad it'd be to do it all again after your muscles have had time to rest. Reguardless, you're gonna be SORE tomorrow. Be prepared."

"Thanks for the heads-up. What's on the menu, by the way?"

"uhh... Something almost inedible, but, hey, it's better than nothing at all. Common."

In fact, the meal handed to Redd was indeed inedible, but, as Manny had stated, it was better than having nothing at all. Really, it wasn't the worst thing he'd ever eaten and was stomachable. Afterwords, the blond showered as he'd done earlier than day, changed into a pair of loose fitting jogging pants and a white t-shirt, and went with Manny to the recreation area. No one else was in there. That one fact made Redd feel calmer about relaxing on one of the leather sofas. Manny sat across from him in an arm chair and pulled a box out from under the coffee table. Jankowski was curious about it, seeing but a blank, rutty, old box held together by duct tape and small threads of fiber still there from the original bindings. His curiosity was soon ebbed, however, as the box was opened and Manny took out a few sets of playing cards. There were multiple different types of various brands; mostly the standard type of card, but some of the boxes sported the faces of long-ago popular television characters and those from movies that were, at a time, big. Redd recognized some of them as they were from shows and movies he'd enjoyed when he was younger.

"Wanna play something?" asked Sargent Morales with a kinger smile than his norm.

"Sure. Might be nice. What did you have in mind?"

Manny shrugged. "Poker, guts, black-jack, uno, go-fish, take your pick." Redd tilted his head, face turning into that of uncertainty. He didn't want to sound... immature, but the only card games he knew how to play were go-fish and Mafia and Mafia required more people. Maybe the others would join them soon. He didn't want to suggest go-fish.

"Well... Do you know Mafia?"

"Mafia? Uh... No."

"Well, if we have a few more people, I can show you how to play. I used to play it all the time in High School. It's kinda funny, actually."

"I can go get Keegan and Fox. Top's probably working-"

"Top?" Manny froze for a moment then let an amused smile break across his face.

"Sorry, Griffin. We call him Top. Anyway, Keegan and Fox should be here in a few minutes."

"Ah, well... We need more people than that, so... Um... How do you play Uno?" The look of shock on the others face was half amusing and half hurtful. It was like the question was taboo. Manny opened and closed his mouth a few times, false starts bringing him to stammer.

"Y-you've never played Uno? I thought everyone had at least once. Didn't your parents or someone play it with you?" Redd shrugged.

"My mom was concerned with other things and my grandparents hated me. My older brother juggled too much to teach me games. He was more worried about getting me through school. The only fun I really had was with what few friends I had at either lunch in High-school or those I saw in and out through my life. I'd drink at parties some or drive around on back-roads like a little shit, but I guess it's something... Boring, I know."

"No, no... Eh... Well, okay, yeah a little boring, but... Wait, you said your grandparents hated you? Grandparents are suppose to spoil their grandkids, right? What happened there?" Redd shook his head.

"I'm not... I'm not comfortable talking about it." Manny seemed a little hurt, be also seemed to understand. He patted the blond on the shoulder and gave the most genuine smile he'd ever seen.

"Okay, so, when you play Uno, each person starts off with seven cards and needs to get down to one card to win. One person lays down a card and the other has to put a card down that matches in number or color. If they don't have either, they have to draw a card from the deck until they get one to lay down. Aces are turn skips and jacks are wild cards. Aces will make the other player lose their turn to let the player who laid it down lay down another card. Jacks will allow the player who played it to place down any card from their deck regardless of the previous card and can be laid over any card. Understand?" Redd nodded with a smile of his own. It was then that he really started to realize something about Sargent Morales; Besides being smart, confident, and headstrong, he was quite possible the coolest person Redd had ever met, even if he'd just made him run miles.


	3. Chapter 3

Plant-shade darkness cloaked a span of dirt-path for a good mile in both directions. Not a spot was given any natural light as the trees above consumed all of the sun's warmth. From the shadows below, there was a disturbance, albeit slight, that rustled small tufts off the underbrush as it passed alongside the trail. Expertly moving, it was silent. Behind it by a few paces were a small group of other oddities in the nearly still backdrop of forest. They were spread out on both sides of the path, but followed the first movement to a point. If it stopped, they stopped. If it sped up, they sped up. The system was almost like a hive mind, a creature connected like roots, but entirely separate beings, physically. Towards the rear of the formation, deep-brown eyes caught what little light shone down upon them and took in their surroundings. Beyond the vegetation, there began to form a structure in the distance. The walls were an off-brownish-grey and stood rather pointedly out from the foliage.

That was their target.

 ** _We try and die... We fail and prevail... The rush of near loss... Never growing stale..._**

The group continued to move, but Griffin, who was leading the pack, began to slow his movements, thus, so did the rest. Fox was close behind and caught the signal to group up. He motioned his own to the remaining group and took a low knee beside his commanding officer. Keegan hustled up next and they all waited for Manny and Redd to cross the path quietly to join them. As they all huddled together, Griffin spoke in a low hush, almost lost with the gentle roll of wind.

"Keegan, you and Manny round at nine. Redd and I will counter at three. Fox, you'll take our middle six and keep an eye on the outside while we head in. If anything changes, give us a beep with the radio and we'll bail. Understand?" They response was a wordless, conjoined nod from the rest. Morales and Keegan stayed where the group had gathered and Redd took tail to Griffin as he crossed over to the other side of the path. Fox remained where he was and would until told otherwise, one hand ghosting the radio on his hip, the other grasping the handle of his combat knife. After some moments of allowing the brush to settle, Griffin gave a near silent snap. Like clockwork, the group, minus one, moved again, pushing along the decreasing cover to the building's left and right.

 ** _The pain of loss... however, can hurt... As it slams you down... makes you dirt..._**

Redd followed shakily as Griffin rounded on the right. He passed along a low group of windows, falling flat onto his stomach. Redd mirrored the action and looked in. Below the windows was a set of cat-walks that hung over a warehouse. The building was mostly empty save for a container or two and a small group of men dressed in rather civilian-like wares. Redd knew better, though. These men were armed to the teeth. These men could kill him. Griffin began to inch along, still on his stomach, and Redd followed, taking care not to make excessive noise. Moments later, the Sargent gave another signal and snapped again. Redd wriggled up next to him as slid into a window which was being held open. Once inside, he hung from the sill and gingerly lowered himself onto the catwalk below which was sheltered from prying eyes by a high-stacked container. Griffin was close behind and, once he touched down, Redd moved up towards a small administrative office. Before he broke from the cover of the container, Redd grasped his light machine gun and glanced down at the ground floor where a group of the mercenaries had gathered. They were talking about random things, clearly in natural English, but Redd wasn't concerned with the topic. He turned his attention across the way and saw the 'o.k.' signal from Keegan before pressing on as though on egg-shells. The platform reached a junction and Griffin circled around Redd to put himself against the door-frame of the office. Redd took the other frame, head on a swivel to watch their six.

"We're clear," he breathed.

"Alright. Going in quiet. Check your fire." Griffin took the handle of the door and turned it slowly, allowing the door to drift open on its own. Inside was clear, the door across the way opening before Keegan and Manny. Griffin and Keegan entered first, crossing to the adjacent wall as Manny and Redd slid in against the frame of a set of double doors leading into an inner office. Cedric and Keegan then approached behind the other two as they stood and each took a handle. Another signal from Griffin and they shoved in slowly, guns flying to the ready before the doors even opened enough to see inside.

 ** _It can appear like a ghost... a stalker in the night... That aims to wreck you... Even when you think your right..._**

Redd and Manny both went to move up, but, on Redd's side, there was a small click, a small something that almost went unchecked, but a sound that broke clear across his mind and made him cringe. Within seconds, the building came alive with the steady blare of sirens, drowning out the former subtle breeze for but a moment before going quiet again. Griffin stood up almost instantly, running a palm over his face. Keegan and Manny gave similar responses, looking down at Redd who slowly rose to his full height. He was mortified.

Cedric slowly allowed his hand to drop back to his side before his eyes glared down at the blond to mirror the annoyance of the rest. "You didn't... For fucks sake, you didn't scan! Manny did! He saw his trip-wire! We went over this hundreds of times in basic training and hundreds more in pre-sim! How is this concept not drilled into your head! Huh?" Redd remained motionless, eyes falling to the floor. "You have anything to say?"

Redd shook his head. "No, sir, there was no excuse." Redd knew better than to apologize. He'd made the mistake too many times and his ears received a bad enough beating.

Griffin's voice lowered to a savage mumble as he pressed his forehead against Redd's to make the blond look him in the eyes. "You are to head back to base camp and wait for us to do this right. After that, you're going to run so many pre-sims that your going to know the drills by heart. Move!" The last word was broken with a yell and Redd tore from the group as fast as his dignity would allow. He clambered down from the cat-walk via a ladder and broke strait through the front doors. Fox was standing outside, having obviously heard the alarms and almost laughed when he saw the younger man leaving, red faced and growling.

"You the cause of all this?" He asked, sounding light hearted, but coming across Redd as belittling.

"You getting anywhere with that detective's degree?" The response was meant to sound, in the very least, intimidating, but fell flat on account of a break in his rage that usually resonated with uncertainty. Two massive failures in under five minutes? A record, if he kept track. Fox reeled back from the venom in the man's words and scoffed.

"Hey, now, kid. You can be all pissy like a pouting baby, but that isn't gonna make things better. Hell, it'll make them worse, in fact. Tell me what happened."

"I tripped a wire on final breach." Another scoff and Redd had never wanted to punch a man harder in his life. Fox was now walking along side him, almost back to base camp, though he knew he needed to stay put. He was like a vulture.

"Ha! Really, kid? Griffin couldn't stress that enough. How could you let that happen?" Redd's stride skidding to a dead stop and he turned to face the red-head faster than the eye could follow.

"How about you let Griffin worry about pounding me with that shit and get back to your post before you and I are in the same boat."

"You're gonna be in a sinking boat if you don't check that attitude, kid. Yeah, you can be mad at yourself. You NEED to be, but you can't be digging that hole deeper or else that hole's gonna be your grave." Fox turned on his heel and left Redd to continue his trek back to base-camp alone. He had vanished before long and so had Redd, losing himself in the APC with his thoughts.

 _ **You can feel it... deep in your soul... a new understanding... of not being in control...**_

He'd embarrassed his team, he embarrassed Griffin, he embarrassed himself... in front of Manny... Since day one, Redd's goal was to impress Sargent Morales and, over the past month, hadn't done much beyond screw up and make bigger messes out of things that were already wrong. That smiling, jokester persona that Manny had played on the first day slowly dwindled into a dying ember day after day. Stress built upon his shoulders so heavily that he felt as though he was carrying the entire world with him every time something came up such as that day's sim. Sitting in the APC seat, Redd balled one hand into a fist and smacked it hard into the other over and over. Time slowly began to blur as he did so, feeling being lost in the repetition, never even noticing that he was hurting himself until a third hand broke the cycle by grabbing his wrist and pulling him back into reality.

 _ **But unlike control... a simple lie... there are some things... that never die...**_

Dark brown eyes locked with Redd's and made the blond sink into the leather... but only for a moment... Something drew him out, something... soft... Sargent Morales slowly removed Redd's right glove and opened his palm. It was a dark purple, irritated and pounded almost bloody. 'How long was I doing that?' he wondered in awe, glaring amazed at the bruise. "Seems like you're in an abusive relationship with yourself," Manny tried to joke. There was a tiredness in his voice that made it almost fall flat had it not been for the slight chuckle he gave after. Redd didn't laugh. He was too fixated on the contact to laugh. Something about it was... off... Well, perhaps 'off' wasn't the right word. There was something likable about it, but it wasn't a usual 'good-feeling.'

Manny's eyes drew back to Redd's, this time having an air of softness to them. Heat rose in the blond like an ember had been drenched in gasoline and he wasn't entirely sure what to think of it beyond desperately wanted to jerk away and hide. He didn't though... He allowed Manny to inspect the wound with concerned, critical, soft eyes. "This normal?"

"Uhh..." There was a lump in his throat. "Uh... Yeah... Well, no... Sorta... Depends."

"Depends on what?"

"How bad I screwed up."

"I watched you for a good twenty minutes. You think you screwed up bad?"

"Yeah..."

"Heh. You didn't, bro. You really didn't. I promise. We've all made similar mistakes in our early days. Some of us worse than others. On my first sim, I slipped and fell off the cat-walk. I broke my arm. In his first sim, Keegan tripped Griffin and pushed him right into the line of sight. Fox miss-fired his gun during breach. Now, that doesn't excuse the fact that you screwed up and... will be punished for it, but you need to understand that these sims are learning experiences. It's like High School. If you fail a test, the repercussion is getting a bad grade and getting pretty nasty words from you parents, maybe a grounding, but you'll probably study for the next one and not make that mistake again. The real deal is like the final exam. Failing that means a lot more than just a bad grade and a grounding.

Either way, let Griffin punish you. Beating yourself up, mentally or physically, isn't helping anything. It isn't constructive."

 ** _Those things are worth the failure... worth the tears... because they'll last you... through years and years..._**

A pounding headache and sore muscles were almost void to something deeper that had been boiling inside him long before they got back to base. The entire time Redd was running his pre-sims, his mind was elsewhere, distracted by the feeling, by the warmth that ate at him whenever he thought back on that moment... Walking to the showers, the door to the rec. room sat ajar in Redd's path. The blond couldn't help but look through and lock his focus on the man sitting on the sofa, a soft smile crossing his lips.

 _ **They'll show you something greater... than any gift from above... they'll prove to you what matters...**_

A single thought broke clean across his mind... and he almost dropped his folded pile of clothes right there, in the middle of the hallway...

 _ **...And who you really love...**_


	4. Chapter 4

"Don't jump to conclusions." He'd been told that so many times throughout his life that he might as well have made it his personal mantra. In fact, he was now saying it to himself over and over, though more as a means to calm his near shattered nerves than to guide any action. "Don't jump to conclusions. Don't jump to conclusions." He halted in pacing the shower floor, having turned on the nozzle to full-blast to drown out the words he'd been saying, to breathe. He splashed some of the hot water onto his face and groaned, gripping his short, blond hair. "You admire him..." he mumbled to himself. "That's it. You admire your mentor... a lot... It's... It's not weird. A lot of people do. It's perfectly normal. I mean, It's Manny." His voice, though staying below the sound of the water, became frantic, his eyes wide and wild like fire. "He's a great guy. He's funny. He's smart. He's..." Redd growled and slammed his still sore hand into the tile wall of the shower, biting back inwardly at the pain.

A defeated sign escaped his lips. "Stop worrying... You'll kill yourself worrying like that..." His brother had told him that. Redd had never been the calmest child growing up, but how could he be? His mother was in and out of rehab, most of his family hated him for something he couldn't control... Spencer had been his only comfort. Something clicked inside the blond and he quickly turned off the shower and rushed to his locker to change.

He needed to talk to Spencer.

* * *

Redd managed to get into the lab shortly before they were suppose to shut the personal systems down for the night. The room was filled with rows of exceedingly high tech machines, state-of-the-art and a luxury for personal use, especial for the Fair Island Base which was as low-budget as the New England facilities got. Jankowski nestled himself into one of the stations in the corner farthest from the door and from prying eyes. He was the only one there, but it he could never be too careful- more of his paranoia. He opened up one of the contact programs and searched for his brother's IP. Spencer was allowed a personal lap-top with his program, which Redd still knew little about, so contacting him at this hour shouldn't have been an issue, especially since Spencer's team didn't operate too much like standard military.

Redd was happy to find that his brother was registered as 'online' and clicked the call button quicker than he could think- mostly to keep himself from turning back. He was nervous as hell. He didn't even know how to address the matter at hand. A set of bars flashed across the screen for a few minutes, playing an odd little ringer tune that Redd was forced to turn off. He couldn't stand the noise.

More minutes passed and the blond was afraid that Spencer had just left the computer on and gone to sleep. More time passed... Then the webcam flashed on, showing a rather dull-looking bunk room with faded blue walls and dim overhead lights. The person before it wasn't Spencer, however. It was a woman. She had black hair pulled neatly into a bun, still looking rather proper for the time, and bright green eyes. Her torso was clothed in a thin, standard grey t-shirt and her lower-body remained out of view. Redd was slightly disappointed, but not at all uncomfortable. He knew her.

"Hey, Jin," he breathed, trying not to let the annoyance of his brother's absence show. The woman on the screen smiled.

"Hey, Redd. What are you doing calling at this time of the night? Shouldn't you be prepping for lights-out over there?"

"I was running some... personal pre-sims. I get a pass for now. I was hoping to talk to Spen real quick. Is he there?" The woman nodded with another smile, some tinge of suspect in her eyes, but all in well meaning. She was something of a friend to Redd, a little bit of a big sister after Spencer was recruited into the unit, even. She came around often for one thing or another and grew on them both. She was head-strong, smart, and a little aggressive, but most military women were. Aggression was a desirable trait in combatants as long as it was kept in check. The woman, Jin, walked around out of view, saying a few words that Redd couldn't understand. Eventually, movement flashed across the screen again as a man sat down before the lap-top. He was spry, head shaved, but face sporting a thick, black goatee. His eyes were a bright blue in opposition to Redd's dark brown. Looking at the two of them, one couldn't tell that they were brothers. Well... Half-brothers, at least.

"Hey, spunky. I've been waiting to hear from you. How's it going over there? You doing alright?" Redd visibly relaxed upon hearing Spencer's voice. He'd missed it... He'd missed it since he first deployed and never stopped, even if the man was just in the other room. Spencer was his favorite person in existence, no matter how much they would disagree or yell at one another over stupid shit. Spencer had always gone out of his way for his little brother, even if it put himself on the line.

"Yeah, things are great. Hit a little speed bump today, but you know how it is. Nothing I can't deal with."

"What kind of speed bump?"

"Oh, you know, screwing over a sim by tripping an alarm and being punished by running a pre-sim by myself for four hours."

Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh. "Common, Spunk, you're better than that! Tripping the alarm? That's rookie!"

"I know. I know. I won't make that mistake again. Griffin made sure of it."

"You better not or I'll take the first plane over there to bust that sun-flower head."

Redd scoffed and began to wring his hands under the desk. He hoped the worry wasn't too visible. "Hey, Spen, did you ever... Have a mentor when you first joined that... unit you're in? Someone who showed you the ropes? Someone you looked up to?" The man seemed a little taken back by the question, sitting against the wall behind him and biting his inner cheek in thought.

"Well," he began. "there's this guy named Rowdy. He runs the day-to-day operations around here. He keeps the squad up to speed and basically showed me most of what I know. He's a real great guy. Doesn't take shit from anyone. Hell, not even me. He can be a little... you know... bitchy, sometimes, but he's still someone I respect. Borderline look up to. Any reason you asked?"

There it was... Redd swallowed. He wasn't going to be direct... nor would he allude to the idea of... what he felt, but he needed to get some idea on what was normal. "I... There's this guy who's been teaching me how things work around here... Manny. He's amazing, Spen and... I really hope you get to meet him one day... But... I screwed up in front of him today... bad... I've been screwing up... On day one, he was really funny and kinda happy... he seemed to really enjoy what he was doing, but... since I came along... and started... being me... He's slowly gotten drained... Now, when he looks at me, it's like... It's kinda like how... how Grandpa looks at me... Not that condescending, though." he didn't intend for that much to come out... any of it, actually... Once it was out, though, Redd only hoped that his face didn't serve as a name-tag.

"Redd, it's just stress. When I was in Raven, I took plenty of recruits under my wing and, damn it did it drive me into the dirt, but that didn't mean I hated them or anything. Sure, sometimes it was irritating when they didn't understand something, but I stilled loved those guys to death. They were great guys in spite of their failures and their... speed bumps, as you called them. Sure, watching you mess up from time to time might get to him, but I doubt he has any bad feelings towards you. You said he was a great guy. If you still think that about him, it can't be that bad. Anyway, it's getting close to lights-out for me and it's sure as hell passed it for you. Talk some other time, alright?" Redd wanted to protest, still not having the answers he needed, but resigned with a smile and quiet nod. "Alright, love you, spunky."

"Love you, too, Scruffy." The screen went black. Another sigh and Redd turned off the computer before getting up and leaving the lab. He went through the trouble of breaking the rules to contact his brother and left the experience no better for information than he left it. Risk without reward wasn't exactly the game he wanted to be playing. Still, he made it to his bunk before Griffin could catch him, meriting a few scowls from his squad-mates as he shuffled under his blankets almost ten minutes passed lights-out. None of them would say anything. It was a tiring day for all of them and they weren't in the mood. As he tried to sleep, Redd's mind raced and not with good thoughts. If this was real... If he really felt... how he thought he felt... Then he could be ejected from the only job he was ever good at... Shamed... Disgraced...

* * *

The morning came too early. It always did when Redd actually dreamed. Dreams meant sound sleep, but they were like movies that made time fly by. When Griffin woke everyone up before dawn, it felt like he hadn't gotten any sleep at all. Groggily, Redd grabbed a fresh uniform from his foot-locker and shuffled off to the showers to begin his morning ritual. He REALLY wanted a shower. Sometimes, at night, the bunks would get extreamly hot, causing most of the squad to wake up in a sweat, feeling nasty. That night had been one of those nights and all of them were desperite to feel, at the very least, suitable for a day's work.

Worldessly, they undressed and took to the shower heads for a splash of tepid water on their faces. Redd, personally, wanted to scrub himself raw. He felt horrible. Everything ached, his chest felt tight, his skin felt slimey beyond comprehention, but no ammount of soap or shampoo could wash the feelings away. And then, as though the universe was against him, Manny stepped in to his right.

"You look like death, pal," he commented, rubbing some shampoo between his hands. Redd didn't want to look at him. He didn't even want to respond.

"Yeah? You think you look any better?"

"Maybe not. Just making sure you're okay, is all." He began to lather his hair with a smile. That smile... that damn... fucking smile... If anything made his chest tight and his stomach burn, it was that smile. Even before his feelings were suspect, he always got a strange sensation from that smile. He mistook it for the man's charisma. Or... Maybe it wasn't a mistake. Maybe the entire ordeal was due to Manny's charisma. He REALLY wanted that to be true, but that feeling in his gut only churned further and more sickeningly. He needed to do something... Something to instigate a reaction... It couldn't be obvious. Redd slowly let his eye wander, peering just barely towards the man at his side.

Manny was, by all means, an attractive man. Surely, even a strait man could admit that. His skin was a dark, spicy tan, natural for his race, and his hair was a deep, brownish-black. Under the closed eye-lids, Redd knew there were a pair or smoldering, lively, brown eyes that seemed to look through him every time they met with his face. The arms that reached up to scrub the shampoo into Manny's hair were thick, bulging with thick muscle from years of conditioning. The same bulk was distributed throughout his body, along his broad shoulders, down his chest and stomach, and-

Redd snapped his eyes forward and ground his teeth, the color in his face deepening more than he would've liked. In almost a panic, the blond rinsed all of the soap from his body and exited the shower. He didn't speak a word to anyone as he dressed and shuffled swiftly out of the locker room and into the hallway. For once, he PRAYED that Manny didn't trot up next to him like any other day and begin what whatever conversation topic popped into his head. He did, though. Why Redd expected anything else was idiotic.

"Where's the fire, Blondie? Suddenly give a shit about making it to the yard early?" The man asked with a chuckle and another warm grin. Manny seemed... happy... He seemed genuinely happy around Redd for the first time in weeks. As much as he wanted to relish in the fact, Redd tried his best to deter any interaction.

"I'm just... Awake today."

"So, you're sleep-walking every other day?"

"No, I've just been a little drained, you know? I slept great last night, so I suppose I feel a lot better."

"Though you got ten minutes less sleep than usual?" The smile remained, but his eyes stared daggers into the blond. Redd gave a sheepish grin in an attempt to seem sorry, but Manny's glare remained, looking down on him with slight disappointment. In retaliation, Redd bumped his shoulder into Manny's and fell in line on the track as usual. The chuckle that rose from the other's throat was enough to make Redd force down one of his own.

"Straiten up! I have some news for the squad!" Everyone went stiff, faces becoming void of any previous emotion. Griffin stood there, still and silent for a few moments before his face relaxed and he breathed a quiet sigh. "We have an off day." The same relaxation washed over everyone else. "Feel free to spend your time any way you want as long as it doesn't bother me or anyone else. Also, the rec. room is being cleaned and repainted, so it's off-limits. Dismissed."

Redd stood there for a moment, watching the others disperse in different directions. The bewilderment must've been plain on his face because Manny stopped mid-stride towards the main-building. He walked back over to Redd, smile half-amused. "You, uh... You gonna just stand there? I mean, we all do our own thing in our free time, but is this really...?"

"Uh... Besides going to the break room and reading or something, I don't have any ideas..." Manny straitened, raising a brow with another odd, lop-sided smile.

"'Reading'? Really?"

"Hey, just because they aren't actual books, that doesn't mean it isn't still reading."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Wanna come with Fox and I to the gym? Thought we might kill some time working out 'n shit." There weren't any real options to weigh, so Redd shrugged and followed Manny to the Gym.

* * *

The Gym had to have been one of the largest buildings on the base. The dome of the roof towered over the others and the square-footage dwarfed them. Inside rested some of the most advanced training and exercise equipment money could buy. They had rows of touch-screen treadmills, ellipticals, and shiny, new weight benches. There were shelves of different level dumbbells, resistance bands, and a huge boxing ring right in the middle of the room. Everything was clean and kept in the best condition, much like the men and women who used them. Redd followed Manny over to the weight benches and, for the second time that day, his heart skipped a beat. As they approached one of the benches, Manny swiftly removed his grey t-shirt and turned slightly to look back at Redd. His expression was neutral with a small glint of what looked like mischief in his eyes.

"Mind spotting me?" he asked. Redd quickly nodded; perhaps a little too quickly as he rounded to the head of the bench. Before he even got there, the other man had already started adjusting the weights and, shortly after, began his exercise. He tried not to stare, but Redd's eyes were too easily drawn to the popping veins and slightly bulging muscles of his team-mate's arms and the bar was lowered to his chest then pushed back up to the holder level. Manny wasn't insanely bulky. He was about average for a soldier, but average was pretty amazing in itself. 'Really bulky guys are fucking weird looking,' he couldn't help but think to himself as the thought arose. 'Manny's pretty alright.' He wanted to re-elaborate, thinking of better words for the other's physique before even realizing what he was doing. When he finally did, he stopped and tried to seem at ease.

"You been alright?" Manny finally asked, breaking the odd silence between heavy breathes. Jankowski was partially thankful and partially cursing inside. He wanted there to be conversation, but not about anything that might have been obviously off about him. His brain had a bad habit of letting things slip his lips that he didn't want coming out.

"Yeah," he tried casually. Suddenly, Manny threw the bar onto the holder and sat up, eyes keeping their former mischievous tinge, but also stabbing daggers into Redd who was unsure how to feel at the moment, or what to do with his hands which hung limply at his side. He wanted desperately to fiddle with his pockets, wring them, or something, but that might indicate nervousness and, if he was nervous, there would be more to suspect.

"I know when you lie, you know." The second those words left Sargent Morales' lips, there was a huff from across the room and Fox quietly excused himself, leaving the two of them alone. He had a good sense for when things might get a little heated and tended to stray from the 'blast-radius', as he called it. Redd refocused his attention on Manny who continued to stare. No doubt, he was attempting to give Redd a chance to explain first. The chance was tossed out as the blond remained silent. "Why were you late to bed last night?"

"I was talking to my brother. Kinda snuck into the computer lab before they closed it up for the night. If you want to take that up with Top, go right ahead. He'll probably make me do suicides for a few hours. Maybe even kick me out like he should have weeks ago." Manny's eyes twitched, some new emotion peeking through that Redd couldn't read.

"Should've kicked you out...? Why do you say that?"

Jankowski sighed, starting to wring his hands. "Well, my track record, for a start. Griffin can spout all he wants about seeing the potential in people and wanting to bring out the best in them, but all he's gotten out of me is the absolute worst I've had to offer. I have fucked up more times with this squad than I have with any other unit, which leads me to the second point which is that **I've fucked up with this squad more than I have with any other unit.** I've never been actually good at anything in my life and I can't believe I let him make me think that this was some silver lining for me." He was monologuing... A perfect example of his mouth forgetting about its pause button, but, this time, he wasn't going to stop. He needed to get it out. He started it and he was going to finish it. "I'm a pitiful little disgrace that no one ever wanted, not even my own father who left as soon as he found out I existed and my mother abandoned when she had to choose between me and all the other fucked up shit she was involved with. Not only should I have been kicked out of this squad, but I should've given up on trying to get any meaning out of my life, years ago! All I have ever done is disappointed anyone who even had any faith in me! In fact, I have totally destroyed their faith in me, making me below dirt in their eyes! You're the best example. All I wanted to do from day one was impress you!" Redd slapped his hand over his mouth. 'Damn it...' he growled in his head, eyes clenching shut as he turned away. He didn't want to see Manny's face. He wanted to be mute, blind, and deaf if only to stop from sensing any reaction.

'Well... It's not the worst that could've come out...' That thought stilled his stomach a little, giving him enough courage to actually open one eye to peer side-ways at the other... Who wasn't where Redd remembered him to be. He totally uncoiled himself just in time to see Manny walking briskly from the gym, disappearing through the door. He wanted to just stand there... take a moment to breathe... But he didn't. As though he wasn't in control, Redd darted from his spot out into the hallway and saw the other rounding the corner towards the showers so he followed. He managed to catch up to Morales and grabbed one of his arms which was crossed over his chest. When he turned to look at Redd, his face was still neutral, a blank, unreadable, slate. His body was tense, though. It... was a little scary... especially when he didn't resist the contact and merely stared. Jankowski's face had to have been practically GLOWING red at that point.

Redd went blank. Anything he'd thought up to say had vanished and he was left stammering, eyes darting from Manny's to the floor in a panic.

"Why didn't you ever tell me any of that?" It was Morales who, again, broke the silence.

"W-what?"

"All this time, I've been telling you about my life and my family. I'd tell you when something was wrong and I'd tell you when something was right. I'd try my best to be supportive and to help you get through this trench you're in and you couldn't once be honest with me?"

"I just... I didn't... I mean, this the military. What place does any of that have here?"

"It has a place with your squad. We're like a family, Redd. Being in the military doesn't mean you have to go callous to emotion." More seconds of silence...

"And... That's all you're upset about..."

"Yeah..." The answer was quick and distant as the man broke away and continued towards the showers.

In his gut, Redd had this sinking feeling that **Manny** wasn't being totally honest with **him.** That scared him and almost excited him.


	5. Chapter 5

"Our target is a cartel lord named 'Reagan Knox'. He's trafficked in millions of dollars worth of weapons, guns, and men to form his own psycho militia. He's managed to barricade himself in an abandoned packaging plant in the Auburn district and refuses to listen to any negotiation. Since former attempts at contact between his militia and SWAT troopers have failed, resulting in casualties, they've called us." The briefing came inside the APC on the way to the location, which Redd mentally questioned, seeing as a brief at base would have given them time to both physically and mentally prepare themselves for the task at hand, but it was just another one of Dark Signal's tactics of stopping the festering of expectations.

"Our job is simple," Griffin continued, "Is to enter the building at three different points. Fox, you'll be going in alone from the far rear near the docking bay. There's a drainage pipe below the water-line that will allow you to swim in under the main packaging bay. There, you'll wait in a concrete slot under said room and wait for I and Keegan to initiate stage two. Stage two consists of Keegan and I scaling the wall of a nearby building just outside the compound. Keegan will be equipped with a sniper rifle provided by the SWAT teams on site to distract the militia by shooting out windows and eliminating any members who find themselves separated from the main population. While they're momentarily confused, I will circle around and cross over onto one of the main roofs which will allow me to enter from a boiler exhaust vent. This should drop me down into a deactivated boiler just off of the packaging bay and offices." As this was all explained, the screen on the roof of the APC had been lowered down and had been displaying a vast, over-head map of the compound. "I'll head around to a vent adjacent to Fox's position, though at a higher elevation. While this is happening, Redd and Manny will enter from the rear and into the back halls. Using silenced pistols, you two will eliminate the militia occupying that area and take up position at both the exit door of the head office where Knox is hiding and the main exit of the packaging bay. Manny, who will be stationed at the PB exit, will discreetly toss remote-activated smokes under the conveyor belts on the left and right."

"Then, he will buzz my com. After that, he will join Redd outside the main office and wait for my signal. Once everyone is in place, I will buzz Fox who will detonate the smokes which will allow Fox and I to take care of the majority of the militia. Hopefully, this was draw out Knox which will allow Redd and Manny to eliminate all opposition. If he does not exit the office, it's all up to your reaction times. One of you will open the door and the other MUST be ready to shoot without hesitation." Griffin looked directly at Redd, eyes staring daggers. "Am I clear?"

In unison, Dark Signal said 'Sir. Yes, sir." Shortly after, the APC came to a halt and the rear hatched opened. From it, all of them exited and Manny stopped to close the hatch from a key-pad on the outer frame of the door. Redd hung back with him, holding his pistol with nervous, shaking hands. How the two of them continued to get paired up was incredible. Fate must've hated him. "D-Didn't top say our job was simple?" he tried, attempting to form some sort of conversation between he and his former mentor. Since their 'falling-out,' Redd had been placed under Keegan's watch at Manny's request. Nothing had hurt more, especially since he still wasn't sure as to why Morales had reacted the way he did considering that what Redd had said wasn't something most people would call hurtful. In fact, most would be flattered.

"This is as simple as it's going to get, Jankowski." Jankowski... he used his last name... Another blow to his already crushed spirit. His voice was so calloused and cold. Three weeks... It had been three weeks... He would've loved to question it if they didn't have a job to do.

Manny slung his pistol to his hip and sauntered off. Redd watched him for a moment. His shoulders were tense and ridged as though a stabbing pain was scaling his spine with arched, metal spurs. The posture was familiar by other means, prodding into his memory to the image of an elderly man, skin sallow and bones locked in the very same posture though without the strong figure. It was a stance of rage... rejection... once more towards him. The very realization shoved Redd even deeper into the bramble-pit. In spite of it, he followed.

The site was swarming with medical and SWAT personnel all rushing across the outer lots of the compound, many with no knowledge of what to do. Nothing they could do would aid the situation any and that made Redd almost glad to be part of Dark Signal. One feeling almost worse than fear was being helpless. In fact, it was one of the reasons he joined the military.

Jankowski shoved his thoughts to the back of his mind as he and his squad mate rounded the back-end of the farthest east lot and pressed against the wall dividing it and the occupied space. All that was left to do was wait. Redd didn't want to ride his thoughts again and yet the idea of talking to Manny seemed worse. He was wedged so hard between his options that he didn't notice when he'd been spoken to until Manny's burning brown eyes were locked on him expectantly. He stared back blankly, opening and closing his mouth in a few false starts before uttering his single-word question.

"What?"

Surprisingly, annoyance wasn't plastered onto the other's face. "How are things under Keegan?" the question was laced with a subtle cold that hung at the end of the sentence. Redd shrugged.

"It's... It's okay. He's pretty dry when he's not correcting almost everything I say... I just..." The words desolved on his tongue the moment he thought then up. He wanted to say something. He NEEDED to say something. It nagged him violently like a starving dog inches from a steak lying in the dirt in front of it. Only a few simple syllables... "I-I just... I'd honestly... No offense to Keegan, but I'd rather have... He's not the best. Has he ever done this before?" He couldn't say the words.

"No."

"Hmm... It shows..." They watched each other in silence. In the long minutes, Redd swore he saw a spark of expectance in the other, a simple burst of hope that vanished as soon as it appeared. Manny broke the stare and looked through the small gate into the compound. Redd couldn't even hear his breathing. In that moment, the blond thought back to his brother; to something Spencer had said to him many years ago. Redd was a freshman in high school, scared to enter the building, it's massive size dwarfing. He sat in the car beside his brother, his book bag clenched to his chest with arched, stiffened hands. He was petrified. Perhaps it had been the rumors spread by his classmates about 'initiation rituals' for freshmen when they were brought in. Perhaps it was as simple as nervousness. The fear was real all the same. Spencer leaned over the seat and wrapped a strong arm about his younger brother. He smiled softly and ruffled his blond hair with the tip of his chin.

" _If you let fear control you, you'll never take your first steps. As scary as they may seem, they'll only get easier._ "

It wasn't his first day of High School again, but, as it was then, the fear was real now. Those steps needed to be taken, however. 'They'll only get easier.' He said the phrase to himself and it gave him but a shot of courage. "Why are you angry with me?" Manny's head yanked around. His eyes were laden with surprise, but his posture scrunched even more with tension.

"You know why."

"No, I don't. You being mad at me for the reasons you gave me makes no sense. Yeah, I hid a few feelings, but I opened up to you eventually. If that's what you wanted, then you should be happy, or, at the very least, normal. Why do I get the impression that _you're_ the one hiding things?" The venom in his delivery was unintentional and he cringed on the inside once the words left his mouth. Manny reeled.

"We don't have time for this."

"We have plenty. It'll be, at the earliest, twenty minutes before we need to move. Start talking."

"I'm not dealing with this right now. Emotions off the job, Jankowski."

"Then why are you carrying yours on your back? You're angry over nothing and I'm left wondering what I did wrong. I thought you were my friend, Manny. You said that the squad is like a family, but, right now, you're acting like you hate me."

"I don't hate you."

"You're sure as hell acting like you do."

"Jankowski, we need to focus. People's lives are on the line today and not just ours. If you want to talk about this when we get back to base, fine, but now is not the time."

"Back at base? Where you can lock yourself up in the rec room or one of the offices and avoid me like I have the plague? I'm not talking to you through a door just to have you ignore every word I say. Do you want me to leave Dark Signal? Do you want me to leave you alone? Do you have a problem with me? All you have to do is tell me what's the matter and that'll be the end off it. If I'm going to my grave today, I want to know why I did with you hating me."

"I said I don't hate you. I just needed some space, okay?"

"Well, you could've just said that instead of walking around all moody and transferring my mentorship."

"Man, this is better than MTV." The disembodied voice chimed in their ears. As both of their faces began to burn, Manny barked back in a savage whisper.

"Keegan, what are you doing on this channel?"

"Why are your comms on?"

"Why are you on my channel?"

"Just switching through when I heard you guys talking. Turn off your comms."

"We shouldn't have to if we're the only ones suppose to be on this channel right now."

"Why are you on a channel at all? You're right next to each other. I can see you from here."

"We're suppose to spit up on entry. Now, get. Off. My. Channel."

"Sure thing, poncho, but you better lock it down with Blondie before Top stuffs you two in the 'get-along shirt.'" Before Manny could make a snide remark, there was a fizz of static and Keegan was gone. The Hispanic sighed, bracing himself against the wall. He turned his head lazily towards Redd and huffed in defeat.

"I didn't mean to get mad at you. It was misplaced and I'm sorry." His voice had lost all of it's poison and remained a shell of exhaustion as though the facade he was trying so hard to keep up had been putting more weight on him than he realized. "You're staying with Keegan, though."

"W-" Redd was cut off by a light beep coming through the comm much earlier than either of them expected. Manny pushed through the gate and motioned for Redd to take the path on the right while he circled around to the left of a smaller pump-house. They met back between it and the main building where they entered through a metal door. The hallway beyond was painted a soulless light blue, accented poorly by concrete floors. There were three doors to their right and only three, all closed. Redd took a caution step towards the first one, lightly gripping the knob and turning it in a way that produced no sound. It only rotated a quarter of the way before stopping, unmovable. It was locked. Manny slid past him and checked the next door in the same fashion. It, too, was locked. Redd crossed over and checked the final door. Locked. Redd glanced back and watched as Manny held his pistol at rest and followed him, walking backwards in case anyone exited the rooms or entered the building. They walked down to the farthest end of the hall before Redd broke off to climb a set of stairs, going sideways to watch his own six. Manny shuffled down towards another metal door, watching out of the corner of his vision as Redd ascended.

Back flat against the wall, he climbed up to a landing and froze dead. Just above the next set of stairs, he saw the door to the office. Two armed militants stood waiting at either side, heavy assault rifles gripped read in their hands. Both men were dressed in miss-matched body armor, one with a motorcycle helmet and one with just a baseball cap on his head. As Redd was off to their left, they couldn't clearly see him, but they would if he chose to wait, but he needed a plan. The options were weighed and Redd stepped back, goal being to enlist Manny's help. Before he made single step, however, the two guards jolted totally upright and walked a few feet forward to the window. They looked down through the glass and were turning back towards the office doors. Redd could see both of them. He lifted his pistol and fired off two silenced rounds into both of their necks just as the man in the helmet let out part of a word into the door. Redd rushed forward on ginger toes and fired off another round into each man. They toppled back onto the concrete floor with a dull thud. which was lost to the noise arising from the main floor below. The gas grenades had been detonated and Manny Rushed up behind him to brace against the door-frame. across from Redd who held his gun at ready.

Manny reached forward slowly, touching the handle lightly before allowing his fingers to slowly curl about the metal. They locked eyes and both swallowed hard as Redd rounded to be in front of the door. He could hear his own heartbeat. It welled up in his chest, jolting with the adrenaline that coursed through his veins. His muscles twitched, legs locked, and eyes watched as the metal door began to move as though in slow motion. His right index finger rested on the trigger, ready to execute the plan as it had been arraigned... Then... He had a thought... A single, wavering thought... What if the wrong person was at the door? That single moment of uncertainty slammed his balance and left him unprepared as a figure yanked the door the rest of the way open and lunged directly at him. In his doubt, there was hesitation and, by the time he had pulled the trigger, his gun was thrown off its aim and Redd was being thrown against the glass of the viewing window. Manny tried to raise his own weapon as the first bullet bounced passed his head, but stopped himself. Redd and Reagan Knox were tangled together as they crashed through the glass, falling back into the packaging bay below. Redd's heart skipped, his lungs hitching their breath as he and his attacker tumbled, Knox's features being only an angry blur before everything went black.

* * *

When the darkness began to uncoil from his body, Redd took a deep breath. It was almost dizzying, but he took another, greedily swallowing the air as though he'd been starved. The first thing he noticed was the pain. His head was pounding like he'd been struck with a hammer. His back gave the same effect, though with a more aching, bruise-like tinge. The next thing was that his hands were bare and clung tightly to a soft cloth. He flexed them, grabbing at it once or twice more before he willed his eyes to open. A harsh light above forced him to blink them a great many times before they focused. He found himself staring at ceiling tiles and an LED light. Redd turned his gaze downward. He was on a bed and bundled up with a light-blue blanket. To his left, there was an IV and heart monitor, both doing their jobs accordingly. It didn't take him long to realize that he was in the Fair Island Medical Facility, an attachment to the base that served as both a military and civilian hospital, but only as the ladder with severely needy patients that could not be treated inland.

With a choke of a breath, the blond attempted to sit up, but instantly hissed when his back, head, and left side protested angerly. He fell back against the pillow in a sort of shock. Slowly, he turned his head towards his left side where he'd felt the pain and lifted the blanket and then the grey shirt he was wearing. From his hip all the way up and under his pecs was a series of stitched cuts. There were many smaller ones along his hip and ribs, but one large one wrapped around his side and chest savagely. It didn't take a genius to tell what had happened. Redd dropped the blanket and rested back, heart thumping wildly in his chest. How badly had he screwed up this time? Did he get someone else hurt? Did he get someone else killed? In a quick, fluid motion, Redd jerked the IV from his arm, a rather painful thing to do- he actually regretted it- and forced himself upright. Everything tore at him all at once. The pain shot up through his body and only increased as he strained every muscle to move until he was finally upright on his own two feet. The change in position dizzied him momentarily before he staggered to the door of his room and forced it ajar. Almost instantly, he locked eyes with a man at a desk and they both froze for what seemed like far too long. The man, dressed in blue scrubs, then rushed over to Redd and placed gentle but strong hands against his chest in an attempt to be forceful in spite of the fact that Redd was a good few inches taller.

"Sargent Jankowski, you need to lay back down," he warned but Redd ignored him.

"Where's my squad?"

"Sargent, you are badly hurt. You need to lay back down."

"Are they okay?"

"They're fine and I'll call them over, but you have to lay back down, first." Finally giving in the the doctor's demands, Redd turned on his heel and shuffled back over to the bed. He slumped down, slowly re-positioning himself as the horrible, stabbing pain threatened to tear him in two. "Alright," said the doctor and he walked around and turned off the heart monitor which was sounding an alarm. "I'm going to go call your squad. Please, don't move. It's for your own good." Redd nodded slowly and watched the man exit. After that, he laid back and breathed. His heart began to relax and his lungs did and, soon, the pain was all but a dull ache.

"Redd?" Manny's voice broke the silence almost as soon as the door swung open. There was almost an urgency in it, all held together by a calm front. Redd turned his head to meet the gaze of his team mate who stood in the open doorway. His figure was tense, but not in the way it had once been. There was something strange about this tension as though the previous had been wiped away and replaced with something completely new and much more welcome. "How... How are you feeling?" Morales' form slowly relaxed as he leaned against the metal frame, crossing his arms in an attempt to give validity to his cool front. Redd could see through it like water, but he happily played along like it was one of Manny's jokes.

"Aside from the staggering pain all over my body, I feel a lot like butter." Redd tried with every fiber of his being to deliver those words with the most serious and calloused voice he could manage, staring back at Manny emotionless for the longest time. Moments passed and neither of them moved before Morales cracked and let out a warm chuckle, something Redd hadn't heard in a long time. It made him burn on the inside, a feeling he didn't at all try to fight like he used to. In fact, he welcomed it, hoping it marked a returned to normalcy between them. Manny approached him, sitting down in the arm chair to his right. He clasped his hands together and sighed, allowing his features to convey his relief.

"I have to say, when I saw you go through that window, I thought you'd break your neck and die or something. Great to see the injuries were minor, for the most part."

"Jesus, you don't hold on to any rays of sunshine, do you?"

"I'm a soldier, Redd. Thinking optimistically isn't being realistic. Logically, it's better to fear for the worst than hope for the best. It sure makes you feel a whole lot better when there _is_ a bright side."

"Since when have you ever acted on logic?"

"I've been a brooding little asshole the past few weeks. Assholes act more on logic than most; maybe that has something to do with it."

"I don't think that's entirely true."

"Whatever." Manny waved a hand dramatically, snorting at the blond. A wide grin broke across his face and another wave of much-missed heat arose in Redd. Jankowski dropped his own smile, a question climbing out of his throat.

"Why were you mad at me?" Manny's smile, too, vanished and his eyes fell to the floor. He hunched over, leaning towards the blond and breathing slight. He sat there for many long moments, silent and still save for the occasional lick of the lips and shake of the head. He turned back and looked Redd dead in the eyes, his smoldering brown burning into the blond. Something was eating at the edge of them, something familiar but lost in distance and time. Redd could feel the fire swell in his face, but he was unable to hide it. All he could do was stare back, watching the emotionless expression before him. Suddenly, there was a twitch. It was a spark of something in those eyes and it almost scared him.

"We're getting some leave after this. The higher-ups were giving us a month to recover. I wanted to head to North Carolina to see an old friend and maybe go sight-seeing in Cherokee. Why don't you come with me?" Redd was taken back.

"Go with you? Really?"

"Yeah. I think we need some times to talk things out. None better than that on a road trip, right? Works in the movies." With his previous question all but forgotten, Jankowski smiled.

"Sure." With that, Manny clapped his hands together and gave Redd a pat on the shoulder as he stood.

"Great. I'll be back in a day or two to pick you up. Have to get some stuff moved around. Bye." Before Redd could even try at a response, Manny was out the door and through the lobby, leaving his team mate at a loss, heart smashing against his ribs like a bass-drum.


End file.
